Crossroad

Lately I feel as though I am at a place of a spiritual crossroad. I know that there are always pivotal moments in our lives, where old mind sets have to be abandoned, new outlooks embraced, former ways and methods are exchanged for the new unconventional and sometimes uncomfortable changes that further us on our walk in God, our faith is challenged and tested. We find out the what I REALLY believe about what I believe. This is where I find myself, wanting to cling to the familiar, remembering the leeks and garlic of the past but not the mud and bricks. Often when we've heard the preachers speak on not returning to Egypt, it was always compared to the world, returning to our former unconsecrated lifestyles. But my Egypt isn't returning to a club scene, a degenerate existance filled with drugs drinking and the like. No my Egypt is a spiritual state of bondage My past experiences in church that held me captive by manipulation and fear. I enjoyed the leaks, great worship times, manifested genuine moves of God, but there were also the man-made movements that guilted me into giving, required me to put the church demands and ministry responsibilites above the needs of my family, or even my intimate relationship with Jesus. Years of spiritual abuse had left me bitter, broken, and confused.
I truly thank God for the spiritually healthy brothers and sisters He has brought into my life who have nursed me back to health. Their words sometimes seemed to be in such direct contradiction to what I'd been taught, but totally upheld by the Supreme Word, which I can never question. Their love was consistent, never based on what I did or didn't do, who I was, or who I thought I was,or who they thought I should be, it was love just flowing from hearts that expected nothing more than what I was able to give. Their character open and honest. Pursuers of pure lifestyle, but able to admit their failures and shortcomings openly and honestly, not as excuses for their limitations, but as witnesses to their need for saving. But often these vessels of honor are so practical in their purpose. Often lacking the flair and grandeour that I am accustomed to, however I love the simplicity..still longing for the more...
Here is where my 2 roads converge..how do you pursue the more, the greater, the deeper, without losing and neglecting the greatest and most. Has my pursuit of Him, become greater than Knowing Him? Has the trip become more important than the destination? How do you move in power and operate in grace? I want to experience the supernatural in my natural. I want my hands to be used for healing, not just on a prayer line but on a soup line. I want to be used mightily but quietly. To do the greater works while becoming a greater person. I am walking cautiously to make sure the road I walk is the road that He is leading me on, not the one I choose, but the one that has been chosen for me....

The Treasure of His Authority

We've heard the story of the "Pearl of Great Price" in Mathew 13:46, that a merchant sold all that he had, gave up everything for the priceless, flawless treasure he discovered. He was on a journey, a quest everyday for something of value. He was a jewel merchant whose whole life consisted of finding precious jewels and selling them to make a his living. His jewels were sold and he gained the profit. So it amazes me that Jesus states that the man who discovers the kingdom of heaven, the treaures of heaven, doesn't sell that which is precious, but instead gives all he has to keep what was found. There was a paradigm shift in his outlook on his life, he discoveres what really was valuable. As Christians, do we value the "treasures of the kindgom of heaven" above our own lives? Or are we still trying to bargain our lives to the highest bidder?

The Kingdom of Heaven is God's rulership and ownership of our lives, our hearts, our desires, our minds, our thoughts, basically all that we are is His, when we've discovered His wealth and His worth, we relinquish all. We can't accept Him as Savior unless we allow Him to be Lord. In the Kingdom of Heaven, only One should sit on and govern the throne of our hearts. He dictates and decrees, and we obey. We recognize He is the only One worthy of that priviledge.
Years ago I heard the Lord speak to my heart during a difficult time of crisis, where crucial decisions had to be made, "Get off the throne of your heart, and let me sit down". I realized that I had taken the scepter out of the Lord's hand, and was trying to rule and govern my life, and expecting the Lord to bless MY decisions. As though He was an advisor and I would take "into consideration" His Word. That's a dangerous place to find yourself. It wasn't until I found myself, at the end of myself, that I realized how desperately I needed Christ to be in control. My own mind is limited, emotional, and futile without the Lordship of Christ and as 2 Corinthians 10:5 states..my every thought has to be put under the authority of Christ.

The value of the Lord's authority in and over our lives should be to us all most priceless. There is nothing on earth that I could possibly desire that would make me buy back that which was given. I've sold my life to Jesus, HE bought my life with His blood. If I do not value and allow His authority over my life,the Word of the Lord says when we continue to live the way we want in sin and rebellion, we trample underfoot the Son of God. That is a tragic metaphor because usually to trample isn't intentional, usually trampling occurs because of gross disregard and in pursuit of something else. I think of the man who was trampled to death in the store on black friday last year. Those shoppers didn't intend to kill someone that day, but when they arrived at the store their self-absorption disregarded the life of that man, resulting in tragic loss. If we do not allow Christ's Lordship in our lives, the result is tragic. But when we understand, and everyday remind ourselves of His cost, His value, the treasure of His Lordship, we will experience Christ in us the Riches of Glory.